Monday, March 22, 2010

School Days

Not many people know that the only place I have ever respected is my school. It would not be an appropriate affirmation to consider school as barely an institute where one gets develop and learn some text book stuff. The best part about school days is, they are incomprehensive and yet majority finds them comprehensive.


Right from the beginning I use to misjudge myself as a prodigy and the reason for my wisdom was my mom; she was VP in the same school. Initially when I shifted from my Mom’s school to GHPS I was kind of coy and use to sob a lot, I use to feel alien and there was no one whom I can befriend with. My class teacher, Mrs Ravinder Kaur (RK)whome I regard most made some sitting changes and I was asked to sit with our class monitor; Kavnit, the girl monitor. This change brought a lot of change in me, I was in complete rapture and to a certain extent it was bound to happen since prior to it, I use to share my seat with RAJAT DEEP SINGH aka teera (RDS).

P.S Teera means someone with squint

RDS was not a Bad Guy but he was the GUY; and given a choice who the hell will enjoy such a company. I still remember my first tryst, he gave me those weird looks and he resembled damn close to Sir John of movie Ram Lakhan, who had a glass eye. I know it sounds rude and unethical but it’s the truth. Secondly he was almost double to me in all respects (I am not considering the neural network) and use to DISTRIBUTE warnings as if it comes of free; later I came to know that he was the son of Mrs Sarita Reen, our Hindi Teacher and one of favorites.

Ms RK had some differences with Ms Reen so it was inevitable that she will have any kind of soft corner for RDS; the whole sitting arrangement was a game played between the most ethical teachers and it was me who was real benefiter.

P.S later me and Kavnit became good buddies and we are still in touch.

Kavnit and Navdeep (Ishar) aka laambi were the heavy weights of 4th A and were best of the enemies. There was a continuous exchange of expressions, sorry quote typical girl’s expression unquote and a conscious effort to outplay your rival. Later they claimed that it was the kind of misunderstanding but for me it was the essence of Female physic. Within a year they became bosom buddies; keeping all the allegations aside they joined hands and now shared the same rapport and indulged with their girl rivalry with NAVDEEP (Roll No 1), who became famous after her Picnic for Madhopur.

The Split

The split which took place in the beginning of 6th standard made lot of people in SPLITS. It was deliberate effort to shuffle sections and which end up making section A rich in all natural resources and the waste was distributed between B and C. Section A was loosely referred as Lale Di Section (Ramneek Singh) which later became RUPI ki Class and finally it was remembered as Giant Sameer Gupta’s (Big Show of GHPS) Section and C remained the BY-PRODUCT of A and B. It was time when I came across two young turks, one was all time GEM (Puneet Gupta- the painter Babu) and a Real time blabbermouth (Ankur Raina aka Rabbit singh salesmen of the year); Madeep Singh Kapoor,(MSK), the self acclaimed prince charming of our class or the biggest story teller of all times; I don’t have words to describe him that’s why I use to address him as KulGuru Lapatu das , followed by standoffish persona, the Puneet Singh (aka The blackmailer), Amanpreet Singh aka Sapeera, Shrabhi or Chacha Khadus ……etc . Since there were so many legends under one roof, that’s why section B always remained section of Bastards; Section of many fathers.

Raina was self acclaimed Heart Throb (Army cut, dipped with Dabar Amla kesh hair oil and millions of pimples on forehead) and was again a Whiz kid, his mom was our teacher (Mrs Kamini Raina); he was usually accompanied by MSK, and both made a terrific pair; they were the Uday Chopra and Tusshar Kapoor of our section.

For Raina, every reason use to cease at his DOCTOR dad (izzat to sirf doctor ki hoti hai bhai … from Munnabhia MBBS) and for his counterpart it use to begin from his London/US settled brother; the hotel management Guru, the entrepreneur.

P.S till this date MSK narrates tons of anecdotes of hotels and other business ventures with same zeal and zest.

Another whiz kid was the DILBAUGH SINGH son of Mrs Teerthi kaur. He was bloke who could make blow your mind with his witty one liners; and he can construct them at his will. DS had an inborn talent with which he can turn outdated slangs to be the most enjoyable one; but all his reputation got bane after the infamous football match which he played against GIANT SAMIR’S SECTION. Dilbaugh I still miss your one liners aka gaffe (red in punjabi).

The Love Triangle

This Bermuda paradox begins from Rehari chungi where Ms Reen use to stay and her door next neighbor was cute, vivacious, athletic, curly haired girl (Kaangana Ranaut, student of B section). Ms Reen always considered her as a close ally and wanted her to be her Daughter-in-law, but her half headed son (Sir John/Teera) was in love with some squinted babe (Bipasha Basu) of Section A. I guess it was the squint which attracted teera to go for his girl. On the personal front Kangana was anytime better than Bipasha (Sorry Abhineet, no hard feeling dude) but it’s indeed a taste.

Love was in the air and so was the environment, before I could tweet some more grapevine I would like to pen down my favorite line from the movie Departed “I don’t want to be the Product of the environment; I want environment to be a product of mine”. All in all I can say that I would have an unaccountable number of infatuations which seldom turned out to be kind of close friendship and finally ended as annihilation. It ranged from my geography teachers (Sonu) to the chemistry faculty (Ajit kaur) to the Lab Assistants (chemistry lab Assistant ) and of course babes of GHPS. Having said that, most of the beauties are married and have kids and they will defiantly call me Uncle.

P.S I think school days attraction is the most quintessential form of infatuation and can never be experienced afterwards.

Of late the concept of valentine day got introduced and every dumb ass tried his pot luck with it. Swami Sharukh BaBa, in DTPH (Dil To Pagal Hai) made the revelation that a girl can’t say NO on this particular day, irrespective of how ugly you look and the real time application was the PROPOSAL made by JUGNU to the Liliput girl (liliput version of Ashwariya Rai); and later they went to Hari and watched Ajnabee.

P.S many lovebirds made their debut with Ajnabee and extended with Jism; thanks to Bipasha.

The Hema Effect

Hema Sharam, the English Lecturer, if someone google’s her name, the result will be the syphilis kind of virus which she spread during her tenure and next will the GURSHISH KAUR as her reference link. She adopted her tone and mannerism to such an extent that even after this Virus evacuate GHPS her shades were there with gurshish & co.(she will kill me if at all she will get the opportunity).The truth is that Hema vandalized the conscious of her students and fabricated them as her followers (kind of Ram dev Baba) and finally turned them as so called CHAMCHAS.

P.S syphilis is used in the context of contagious virus; please don’t find its literal meaning as there were no orgies and Hema was wasn’t bisexual.

I think I wrote a lot, sane insane ….. I have no idea. Well in my next post I will upload some of the pics of GHPS

P.S it was rabbit who made me realized that how important is for anyone to have his own identity, one can’t survive much in the shades of his parents.

P.S.S Sonu and Ajith were the ones who made snoring stuff as the most interesting one and this is when I was dawn with the wisdom that in order to love your subject u need to first take interest in ur teacher or till u never appreciate your teacher u can never find subject interesting.

P.S.S.S my serious apology to all those who got hurt and esp. RDS, dude no hard feelings.

P.S.S.S.S politics is the execution of human physic to please the egocentric motives and earn some sadistic pleasure. Whether it was politics among children or it was at teacher’s level; excellence was reckoned on the basis rivalry, the better u were in politics more u got the dividends in terms of professional excellence. In short everything is relative; I guess that’s what Einstein said.

To be continued

Friday, March 12, 2010

Plight of Being Indian

Its not that i am North Indian; its because i am Indian

It’s commonly misunderstood that north Indians have to suffer in Mumbai or Chennai for their mannerism which sometimes is referred as cultural conflicts; this statement is as true as Indians are only greeted in Australia.

My journey commences from the crown of India, where one set of Indians (Natives of Kashmir) were dethroned by another set of Indians; fortunately or unfortunately I wasn’t among them although I witnessed that humiliation and love lost between two set of ideologies. Before readers will adjudge my religion, I assert that I am a Brahmin; just to make it clear that even Hindus are treated badly, so next time don’t credit any insult for being a minority or OBC; however I believe that the degree of insult and humiliation varies but still, I believe that one should not alibi his/her name by saying My Name is Khan!

I don’t think that every time I was at the receiving end but I can say that the racism and discrimination happened because neither do I belong to Sikh community nor did I have my roots in the Rajput clan. Although I thought that we all were humans, precisely Indians or derivatives of same religion but every time I was proved wrong. However, I can’t deny that I had Sikhs and Rajputs as my coterie.

From there I carried my journey for Punjab; during that, I found all the sign boards were in Gurmukhi script, completely a remote cousin of Devnagri. People were nice but the place had its own hidden protocols. The memories of Massacre that happened at Amritsar were still vivid and practically I could sense that since I was a Hindu, whatever happened can never be forgotten and hence someone has to pay the price; but with all due respect to all those who were sacrificed in the 1984’s Bloodshed; Sir, “I am a Hindu and I am not the one who did operation blue star”.

My next halt was at Delhi, an all together different experience. Although I don’t think it had any religious issues, however it had something else; Regional issues. If one has to survive then he has to adopt a typical Delhi attitude, sometimes referred as the North Indian Attitude and learn their slangs, irrespective of his will. It’s almost the same as inheriting a new set of mannerisms, following a new schedule and the most important; one has to read between the lines; sometimes small discussion can end up as a Homicide felony.

Later I went to UP, someone stared at me as if I was from Pakistan and then somebody spat near my foot. I looked at him and he was the Auto driver. Unfortunately, I indulged in some discussion which later turned into an undesired debate, my dialect was different and they decided that I was mudblood. Being fluent in Hindi is not sufficient to please the UP locals, so it all ended up in me saying sorry since my foot was at the wrong place and it interrupted the trajectory of the SPIT.

Then I entered Maharashtra, precisely Mumbai. It was not that rosy, I had to learn the mannerisms of local trains, but thanks to Delhi I was already well versed in learning new mannerisms and honestly being a Mumbaikar was far easier than being a Delhi wala. Later I attempted learning Marathi which was easier than learning Gurmikhi.

It’s always better to respect the locals and the local language, especially when you are a part of the migrated clan, which I learnt from my prior experiences of UP. Regarding the biasing part, I think the level of humiliation faced by native Kashmiris will always be much more mammoth than what the rest of the India can evince.

I don’t have any interest in writing about Chennai and Bangalore episodes because if N Indian has to suffer in northern India then what else he can expect from the rest of India. Whatever I went through had nothing to do me being a north Indian, the same could have happened had I belonged to southern, eastern or western India; it has to happen because our nationality is Indian.

P.S: Here the objective was to publicly scrutinise the issue of racial discrimination that happens across country.