ROAD TO PERDITION

Of late I have been stuck with a feeling that I should pack my bags and find some new abode. It’s always been a hurricane task to where one should ahead and one must have equally strong reason to do so. I can’t dismay the fact that if a feeling for doing something arises; then there is always some base of inking which strides one to move forward.

It may sound like as if I was watching SWADES last night and today I have made up my mind and want to be at my Native place; on contrast such decisions comes with lots of thinking and tons of belief.

Many of the times people nag about the wrong choices they made, some extend their folly by blaming their current scenario for the one mistake; if ever one can call it as a mistake, and find it as the sole reason for their debacle. Probably above fact may stand true but for me freedom of choice never existed. Choice is a hypothetical term devised by humans to make our self comfortable with another hypothetical term called as DESTINY; we choose what we were destined but we assumed as if it was our forte.

If a stone is thrown in the sky, and if it has consciousness; then it might believe that it’s flying of its own and so is the case with humans.

The day I thought of returning to my roots I was stuck with oodles of worries as the hero of our Hindi movies finds when villain orders him some odd job. The sleepless nights, followed by skipping of lunches, sometime dinners but no breakfast as we don’t have, but what annoyed me most was the fact of time taken for one simple decision, probably it does take (time) if one is at dead end of a road and thinks that he is at a crossroad.

Some choose death over destiny and some slavery over death, former are the brave ones and I am not. Honestly me and my friends we belong to the later one; How can I leave a metropolitan over some small town which has nothing in it; I mean how even can imagine being at such a place where still people use ABACUS for calculation.

I was born to do something big and how can I achieve without being the integral part of the mob of any Metro??? Think of our films, how does Hero makes his fortunes only when he comes to Mumbai; okie since we belong to the elated clan of Software developers so our fortune has to be in BANGALORE.

If at all for an instance, I believe that I am bored, need something new to taste, am fed up with same thing; wait wait I am talking about my job, please don’t make this otherwise. If at all I imagine then again my worries of insecurity, risk, question of adaptability comes and again vulnerability becomes the key player.

God why I am so vulnerable?

Mumbai or Bangalore, it might be the same context as someone tries his luck at New York and then visits Dubai and finally wants to make a comeback to India and finds pollution, population and amenities as the basic reason of not making a comeback.

So when I was thinking from the above perspective, I got to see some new corners of this multidimensional cube. I needed some strong beliefs which can counter my disbelief and force me to take some stern decision against the uncertain and lame ones which often comes from the copout behavior of being a Southern Asian homo sapiens's.

Yeah I agree it was me who left it over Mumbai and the alibi I made was “Lack of opportunity”; something which entire nation faces and actually it’s not exactly lack in terms of OPPORTUNITIES but in real sense it’s the ZEST. It was my enthusiasm for MUMBAI which became the reason for my graduation at that place and it was sheer confidence and my belief on being a trash in all the engineering departments, except one, and that’s why I am in Bangalore.

Confusion, irritation, palpitation…. This is not the solution to any problem, yet I wasted majority of time on being worried about something, SOMETHING which I could never fathom. It is never a PLACE or the OPPORTUNITIES or the PEOPLE, it is the Programmed mind set which made me gratified that I was at the right place; and while believing it I missed something, something vital; I got RIGHT in a wrong context. Right thing done at a right time at a right place, when pitched against right people makes something called as “RIGHT” and then it becomes an idea which can kill million people.

The best alibi for being a citizen of a metropolitan city is that one constantly learns some new things, gain some experiences which one cannot find in some small town or a city. So here I take the onus of being a Patient Of Over Broad Mediocre Concept as it never states where to implement the learning part and how to unlearn the illogical deductions.

Going with same over broad mediocre sense of belief, I just want to raise one doubt, I want to juxtapose a simple question against my pious conscious; how much did I learn in the past one-two year or which business trick or new idea has struck my mind in the past 12/24 months or in better words what is my gain in last…….?

If the learning graph is parallel to X axis as well as the earning one then how can I justify my deeds of misinterpreting me as a visionary futuristic ?????; who 90 percent of his time is actually a Visionary, Who Is Frustrated….

Yet I know that my mind is fucked up with a programmed mind set and I know the mantra of deprogramming my mind but still I find it hard to believe that this is a road to perdition and still want to continue with this so called coward attitude which some people refer as INBETWEENIST.

This was indeed a scenario where even a dumb can relate it with the CAREER OPTION; however my point was only OPTIONS which some people refer as CHOICES; same process takes place whenever we are in a dilemma and have to take a decision which questions our venerability.