Nihilism - The realization

As a kid, they taught me with all kind of moral lessons; they made me learn remorse, got me the novelty which they call respect and whenever I scorned, they used the deathly weapon, intellect.

They gave me the purest emotion, feel for others: do well to them and expect the same –If u r good with people around you then god will be good to you. They gave me the insight, to have the essence to feel school as a temple, a temple where humanity sells in the form of humility, and they make it sure that students had the Holy Grail; the sweetest poison men ever had, to compete.  

Life is race, and you have to come first……….. get the bloody memento and shove it in your ass . “In life, the chief goal should be to have reverence for culture and traditional value”, that’s what they believed and the one who follows, gets exuberant life and succumbs till eternity.

Those who were never in a race, they got them into it, people who never thought of goals, they injected. Those who hardly cared for being ambitious, they made the comparison and got customized virtuous citizens out of them; who became the luminary of mankind to save the society which they called, altruism.

The biggest virtue of mankind is that it has a classified system, where people of different range of morality can coexist; while having turbulence, its state remains in equilibrium.

With these steroids, average mindset turned into a high profile program which not only justifies illogical concept but also satisfy in extreme distress, it can even change the opinions based on your aides and slowly steadily one finds peace in being ambitiously bitten persona whose list of goals is more than his age although goals which he never had but what society bestowed.

How perfect this can be, a society where people had common goals all have same set of achievements, looks like everyone gets puberty at the same time. Everyone living for his neighbor’s sake, the originality means following the footsteps of someone; intelligence lies in choosing the right ally. To make this act together, they got some orator, who spoke about individuality of your soul and then they play the trump card of complete submission of soul, thus killing the each and every bit of your soul.

**************************************************

Kid is tamed with a constant fear of being a loser if can’t do anything significant in his life, they left the job for the society to explain him the meaning of SIGNIFICANT. His temple of humanity taught him how fatal can be being individualistic; they made him believe what it takes to live for sake of others happiness at the same time killing his own.

With his each breath, he mocked his inner sense, whenever he scorned, they taught him the doctrine of dualism. Whenever he showed the content, they made him feel jealous for others, raised the adrenal rush to achieve what others have done.

The distance which he traveled from being inferior to superior became his path, whenever he talked about his thoughts, his lust, his ego; they gave him the concoction of potion, altruism.

Whatever he liked, they made it taboo, things which made him feel good became sin. They made him run after the desires, which he never had, they made the chase more complicated by adding up more spices, bending few rules, switching his priorities from being ambitious to a family man and ending it with spirituality; they confused him like anything so that he could never fathom the insidious plans.

To appease this turbulence, to have the state of equilibrium, they ask for the final act, the last goal they set when they ask him to redeem the salvation.

  

                                                                                                                                                                              

The Last Act

Instinct to kill comes when respect for life begins......

Hardships followed by unending misfortunes, don’t know whether my life has any significance or not…… when the exigency to get the answers for such questions becomes necessity, then it becomes quite easy to decide what other find absurd and egregious.

Series of thoughts gave me the COURAGE to be where no one can dare, even in his wildest dream but certainly, standing on the terrace of a 200 meters long building is the best kick I ever had in my life, today, right now; it feels that this whole world comprises of only two things, life and death AND unfortunately neither comes for free. I don’t know why people have different interpretation when the result is same, those so called saint who quit relations for sake of THEMSELVES are treated as Demigods and those who quit because of OTHERS are called cowards??????

All my life, I had a very simple rule; to put onus on others; AND to find alibis: was what I believe I was destined for!!! I don’t remember from where this started, and it shaped me up like this but the only thought that summarizes me is “weakness of attitude is the weakness of character” and I guess I have lost everything … everything .... and that too some ages ago; and sometimes I doubt whether I was born like this or probably I made this to myself????? Ah here comes the cool breeze, though I can feel yet can’t enjoy it; don’t know but there is something which is creating some kind of confusion, is this what one calls panic or nervousness?? ……

Though people won’t find my gruesome act as a noble one, probably they won’t ever be able to justify it but I have my own set of reasons and after thinking and re-thinking for past thirty minutes, I have made up my mind. Last few days I had insomnia; I guess I have become insomniac; can’t trust my shadow anymore; there is no one who can understand ME, my anxieties, whom I can trust or call as a friend or look for a support ahhh ………. am I behaving like a paranoid???

You lose interest when nothing appeals you; that is what you have been taught but actually one loses interest when he can’t make himself INTRESTING, strange isn’t!! and life becomes trash and so becomes the emotions. Plight, agony, anxiety these are all same for me, don’t know how people differentiate these. For me all are form of same emotion which arouses when failure is met, and yet some people smoke it as they don’t feel it at all; bloody Hippocrates.

I fucked up with my boss, brook up with that bitch; messed up with my colleagues, I am not in talking terms with my family: in short my life sucks!!!! This “I”, I hate this “I” …. This “I” is nothing but a piece of shit which no one is ready to buy and to worse the scenario, no one is going to respect this filthy alphabet; “I” ……. …..Where was this I when she fucked my trust, my ego my senses and where was this I when my manager raped my conscious, my self esteem, my confidence, DIGNITY that is left in milligrams after my engineering; I guess this “I” was on the vacation with “WE” or they were having orgy with “US” …. I couldn’t reply to his priceless comments, stood there as if I was the bloody prostitute and he was my pimp, and I denied for the noble service. I don’t know if I have any future, means probably I have a future ….. no .. no I have decided and I am going to do this …….. at least it will an respectable ending to the disrespectful story, I am going to QUIT.

Clouds look terrific, it’s like never been seen before kind of and this typical bengaluru weather, nothing can beat this; this orange border of the clouds, it looks as it’s a HUGE canvas and the painter is …… … am I becoming poetic? Or it’s the pinnacle of being in a baffled state?? I think I am talking nonsense. But on a serious note I WILL miss this weather. My heartbeat is becoming faster, god I am sweating ….. gosh it’s a not going to be that easy.

Don’t know why my eyes are wet; I guess it’s quite windy. About 2 hours back I called dad, he was doing good and so was the mom; had lunch with friends just Hour ago, I had my favorite chicken Biryani but still the feeling of being incomplete is there ; do I really need do THIS ???? ahhh probably I forgot to Smoke.

My grand mom taught me that end is the salvation, whatever we do is for the end and it’s that fucking end that completes our CIRCLE. All my deeds will die with my end and so will be efforts. I don’t know why but seriously this END seems to be the most important aspect and all these years I thought it was porn which should be reckoned most.

God gave me this life, but he himself got the fucking remote control; which my grandmother called destiny and but my friend called it as VAII (visionary aspect of an Individual Indian), which is as bright as the future of my fellow Indians………. God why I was born in India ???. Whatever I do, where ever I will go my life will be controlled by someone else and when it has to end then again it’s someone else who plans it. Neither I can change my beginning nor I have any control over my present; and future; that was always in doubt…. than what else can I do???..... probably, I can opt for an end, endthat’s of my choice, I will die of my own death and it will complete my circle.

Oh its more dreadful than I anticipated, everything looks so small from here…. I think I am getting panic, oh last cigarette left, …. Ah finally I am having LAST cigarette, man no more cigarettes……. And no more vodka, of all the things vodka will be the one which I am going to miss and of course the burden of being virgin will remain with me….……ah last puff; the golden puff so with this I finished all pending tasks and now it’s time for some action.

200 metres don’t know how much time it will take, but yes now I am free and have no more worries. I am just one step away from the hassle free world; ….it’s high time I should jump now.

Suddenly It felt like I am floating, have no mass and is this freedom? and With that, my grandmother’s teaching of end and circle theory flashed again in front of my eyes and then for the first time I realized that it was supposed to be the Complete circle but the end that I have chosen is a semi circle; I will die my own death, yes it was something that i always wanted, but what I have done doesn’t mean that, I am dying because of others not because I wanted to……. Shit I cant undo this, no Cntrl Z ….. Suddenly it felt that I am loser and for the first time I realized that why everyone uses to hate me; with that disgusting feel; I glanced and suddenly i felt pain in my chest, I think I got myfirst and the last cardiac arrest, with that feeling I had only one word in my mind; Suicide.

Note: Few weeks back, a 22 year old guy jumped from the 13th floor and officially committed suicide, I witnessed this gruesome act, saw his body drenched in blood, for me he was coward and nothing on this earth can justify his act. This post is an adaptation, I wrote what I thought; it took me two weeks time to analyse his perspective and that’s why major chunk of this post favors’ his reason, probably, for someone, these reasons can make sense, or his act will be a synonym of courage but for me he will be a COWARD.

ROAD TO PERDITION

Of late I have been stuck with a feeling that I should pack my bags and find some new abode. It’s always been a hurricane task to where one should ahead and one must have equally strong reason to do so. I can’t dismay the fact that if a feeling for doing something arises; then there is always some base of inking which strides one to move forward.

It may sound like as if I was watching SWADES last night and today I have made up my mind and want to be at my Native place; on contrast such decisions comes with lots of thinking and tons of belief.

Many of the times people nag about the wrong choices they made, some extend their folly by blaming their current scenario for the one mistake; if ever one can call it as a mistake, and find it as the sole reason for their debacle. Probably above fact may stand true but for me freedom of choice never existed. Choice is a hypothetical term devised by humans to make our self comfortable with another hypothetical term called as DESTINY; we choose what we were destined but we assumed as if it was our forte.

If a stone is thrown in the sky, and if it has consciousness; then it might believe that it’s flying of its own and so is the case with humans.

The day I thought of returning to my roots I was stuck with oodles of worries as the hero of our Hindi movies finds when villain orders him some odd job. The sleepless nights, followed by skipping of lunches, sometime dinners but no breakfast as we don’t have, but what annoyed me most was the fact of time taken for one simple decision, probably it does take (time) if one is at dead end of a road and thinks that he is at a crossroad.

Some choose death over destiny and some slavery over death, former are the brave ones and I am not. Honestly me and my friends we belong to the later one; How can I leave a metropolitan over some small town which has nothing in it; I mean how even can imagine being at such a place where still people use ABACUS for calculation.

I was born to do something big and how can I achieve without being the integral part of the mob of any Metro??? Think of our films, how does Hero makes his fortunes only when he comes to Mumbai; okie since we belong to the elated clan of Software developers so our fortune has to be in BANGALORE.

If at all for an instance, I believe that I am bored, need something new to taste, am fed up with same thing; wait wait I am talking about my job, please don’t make this otherwise. If at all I imagine then again my worries of insecurity, risk, question of adaptability comes and again vulnerability becomes the key player.

God why I am so vulnerable?

Mumbai or Bangalore, it might be the same context as someone tries his luck at New York and then visits Dubai and finally wants to make a comeback to India and finds pollution, population and amenities as the basic reason of not making a comeback.

So when I was thinking from the above perspective, I got to see some new corners of this multidimensional cube. I needed some strong beliefs which can counter my disbelief and force me to take some stern decision against the uncertain and lame ones which often comes from the copout behavior of being a Southern Asian homo sapiens's.

Yeah I agree it was me who left it over Mumbai and the alibi I made was “Lack of opportunity”; something which entire nation faces and actually it’s not exactly lack in terms of OPPORTUNITIES but in real sense it’s the ZEST. It was my enthusiasm for MUMBAI which became the reason for my graduation at that place and it was sheer confidence and my belief on being a trash in all the engineering departments, except one, and that’s why I am in Bangalore.

Confusion, irritation, palpitation…. This is not the solution to any problem, yet I wasted majority of time on being worried about something, SOMETHING which I could never fathom. It is never a PLACE or the OPPORTUNITIES or the PEOPLE, it is the Programmed mind set which made me gratified that I was at the right place; and while believing it I missed something, something vital; I got RIGHT in a wrong context. Right thing done at a right time at a right place, when pitched against right people makes something called as “RIGHT” and then it becomes an idea which can kill million people.

The best alibi for being a citizen of a metropolitan city is that one constantly learns some new things, gain some experiences which one cannot find in some small town or a city. So here I take the onus of being a Patient Of Over Broad Mediocre Concept as it never states where to implement the learning part and how to unlearn the illogical deductions.

Going with same over broad mediocre sense of belief, I just want to raise one doubt, I want to juxtapose a simple question against my pious conscious; how much did I learn in the past one-two year or which business trick or new idea has struck my mind in the past 12/24 months or in better words what is my gain in last…….?

If the learning graph is parallel to X axis as well as the earning one then how can I justify my deeds of misinterpreting me as a visionary futuristic ?????; who 90 percent of his time is actually a Visionary, Who Is Frustrated….

Yet I know that my mind is fucked up with a programmed mind set and I know the mantra of deprogramming my mind but still I find it hard to believe that this is a road to perdition and still want to continue with this so called coward attitude which some people refer as INBETWEENIST.

This was indeed a scenario where even a dumb can relate it with the CAREER OPTION; however my point was only OPTIONS which some people refer as CHOICES; same process takes place whenever we are in a dilemma and have to take a decision which questions our venerability.

Kabool Kabool Kabool

I declare, in the name of God, that they are husband and wife; you may now kiss the bride.

Hero is in love with heroine and heroine is engaged with some other guy, which makes it as a perfect love triangle. To complicate this filmy story let’s say girl belongs to Pakistan, likes of Gadar and Veer Zara and hero belongs to India; kind of Sunny Paaji or Mr King sahab.

To get some more melodramatic feel; let us paint this love story on the huge canvas where India just had a war with Pakistan over Kashmir issue where stains of blood are fresh and the loss is still haunting. Nightmare is over but one can feel the déjà (De-Javu).

Hero struggles and finally reaches out to her beloved, somewhere in Pakistan; without Visa and other legal documents, he jumps at his In-Laws and demands for his lover, he screams in front of media and seeks for justice, but since its PAKISTHAN and they don’t understand sacredness of love they try to kill hero. Depending upon the capability of hero climax can be scripted, for Mr King sahab the most suitable climax would be a sacred sacrifice and for King Kong, fight sequence suits most.

Every era has its own love story and has its own complexity. Above story is too filmy but makes a lot of sense if sensed with parameters of Sania as Dimple Dinta, Shoaib as Baadshah Libido and Sohrab her ex fiancée as Serious Bajpai, a political spoof of Veer Zaara.

The hero of this story is not an Indian and that’s something which quizzes our mindset to adapt Paki as our hero????? Well India is a Secular nation, whatever the hell that means so we can still manage our hero being a Pakistani. Since it’s 2010 so our hero is travelling by AIR and has VISA and of course Passport so cannot ceased @ immigration or called as a National Threat; but what he doesn’t have is the divorcee paper and for that he has to take a ride.

Heroine of our story is epitome of being bimbo and impeccably replaces SAKINA fame from Gadar- The one man Show; a true example of being over broad and literally explains the literal meaning of Jezebel. She being the highest ranked female tennis player for India and that’s the exceptionally well crafted irony. Although she is Millionaire but still her family gets privilege of being a part of BPL; Below Poverty Line.

Our hero who is hugely influenced from King of Libido and he too believes in posing for paparazzi and later charges money for the same. He too gives press conference and screams; although my nationality is PAKISTANI but I am not a LIAR. Like all top Pakistani bureaucrats, he too denies his infamous linkups (about Ayesha) but later realizes that he is in INDIA not in Islamabad, so takes a U turn.

In the mean time we forgot our Serious Bajpai aka Mr Sohrab, like a stereotype side hero of hindi films he comes back from UK just a day before her marriage and tries to avoid her. Anyways he doesn’t have alternative as nobody cares about this useless bum, not even AajTak; on the same career lines which Manoj Bajpai has, even this Biku Matre faces a lot of issues with a fate of reorganization, esp. reorganization from Media. Although Sohrab was the key player in the above controversies but couldn’t make even one percent of what Ayesha got and was hugely sidelined by media and that’s why I am dedicating this whole paragraph to our side hero; good luck dude may u find peace and love in Ayesha because that will be a fitting reply and may no one finds COMPATIBILTY ISSUES with u.

Time to time our movies have depicted that we are secular and advocated cross border love stories as a part of our national (Political) manifesto and it’s our neighbor who makes raucous statement. I don’t know whether it’s true or it’s a SHAM and I don’t know whether Pakistan would have behaved in the same manner as we did by filling a case or seizing Shoaib’s passport ….etc or they would have simple called it against SHARIYAT and would have handover our hero to Taliban…………….

Honestly …. I don’t know but what I know is before Shoaib will ga ga Kabool Kabool Kabool for Sania he has to utter Talak Talak Talak.

School Days

Not many people know that the only place I have ever respected is my school. It would not be an appropriate affirmation to consider school as barely an institute where one gets develop and learn some text book stuff. The best part about school days is, they are incomprehensive and yet majority finds them comprehensive.


Right from the beginning I use to misjudge myself as a prodigy and the reason for my wisdom was my mom; she was VP in the same school. Initially when I shifted from my Mom’s school to GHPS I was kind of coy and use to sob a lot, I use to feel alien and there was no one whom I can befriend with. My class teacher, Mrs Ravinder Kaur (RK)whome I regard most made some sitting changes and I was asked to sit with our class monitor; Kavnit, the girl monitor. This change brought a lot of change in me, I was in complete rapture and to a certain extent it was bound to happen since prior to it, I use to share my seat with RAJAT DEEP SINGH aka teera (RDS).

P.S Teera means someone with squint

RDS was not a Bad Guy but he was the GUY; and given a choice who the hell will enjoy such a company. I still remember my first tryst, he gave me those weird looks and he resembled damn close to Sir John of movie Ram Lakhan, who had a glass eye. I know it sounds rude and unethical but it’s the truth. Secondly he was almost double to me in all respects (I am not considering the neural network) and use to DISTRIBUTE warnings as if it comes of free; later I came to know that he was the son of Mrs Sarita Reen, our Hindi Teacher and one of favorites.

Ms RK had some differences with Ms Reen so it was inevitable that she will have any kind of soft corner for RDS; the whole sitting arrangement was a game played between the most ethical teachers and it was me who was real benefiter.

P.S later me and Kavnit became good buddies and we are still in touch.

Kavnit and Navdeep (Ishar) aka laambi were the heavy weights of 4th A and were best of the enemies. There was a continuous exchange of expressions, sorry quote typical girl’s expression unquote and a conscious effort to outplay your rival. Later they claimed that it was the kind of misunderstanding but for me it was the essence of Female physic. Within a year they became bosom buddies; keeping all the allegations aside they joined hands and now shared the same rapport and indulged with their girl rivalry with NAVDEEP (Roll No 1), who became famous after her Picnic for Madhopur.

The Split

The split which took place in the beginning of 6th standard made lot of people in SPLITS. It was deliberate effort to shuffle sections and which end up making section A rich in all natural resources and the waste was distributed between B and C. Section A was loosely referred as Lale Di Section (Ramneek Singh) which later became RUPI ki Class and finally it was remembered as Giant Sameer Gupta’s (Big Show of GHPS) Section and C remained the BY-PRODUCT of A and B. It was time when I came across two young turks, one was all time GEM (Puneet Gupta- the painter Babu) and a Real time blabbermouth (Ankur Raina aka Rabbit singh salesmen of the year); Madeep Singh Kapoor,(MSK), the self acclaimed prince charming of our class or the biggest story teller of all times; I don’t have words to describe him that’s why I use to address him as KulGuru Lapatu das , followed by standoffish persona, the Puneet Singh (aka The blackmailer), Amanpreet Singh aka Sapeera, Shrabhi or Chacha Khadus ……etc . Since there were so many legends under one roof, that’s why section B always remained section of Bastards; Section of many fathers.

Raina was self acclaimed Heart Throb (Army cut, dipped with Dabar Amla kesh hair oil and millions of pimples on forehead) and was again a Whiz kid, his mom was our teacher (Mrs Kamini Raina); he was usually accompanied by MSK, and both made a terrific pair; they were the Uday Chopra and Tusshar Kapoor of our section.

For Raina, every reason use to cease at his DOCTOR dad (izzat to sirf doctor ki hoti hai bhai … from Munnabhia MBBS) and for his counterpart it use to begin from his London/US settled brother; the hotel management Guru, the entrepreneur.

P.S till this date MSK narrates tons of anecdotes of hotels and other business ventures with same zeal and zest.

Another whiz kid was the DILBAUGH SINGH son of Mrs Teerthi kaur. He was bloke who could make blow your mind with his witty one liners; and he can construct them at his will. DS had an inborn talent with which he can turn outdated slangs to be the most enjoyable one; but all his reputation got bane after the infamous football match which he played against GIANT SAMIR’S SECTION. Dilbaugh I still miss your one liners aka gaffe (red in punjabi).

The Love Triangle

This Bermuda paradox begins from Rehari chungi where Ms Reen use to stay and her door next neighbor was cute, vivacious, athletic, curly haired girl (Kaangana Ranaut, student of B section). Ms Reen always considered her as a close ally and wanted her to be her Daughter-in-law, but her half headed son (Sir John/Teera) was in love with some squinted babe (Bipasha Basu) of Section A. I guess it was the squint which attracted teera to go for his girl. On the personal front Kangana was anytime better than Bipasha (Sorry Abhineet, no hard feeling dude) but it’s indeed a taste.

Love was in the air and so was the environment, before I could tweet some more grapevine I would like to pen down my favorite line from the movie Departed “I don’t want to be the Product of the environment; I want environment to be a product of mine”. All in all I can say that I would have an unaccountable number of infatuations which seldom turned out to be kind of close friendship and finally ended as annihilation. It ranged from my geography teachers (Sonu) to the chemistry faculty (Ajit kaur) to the Lab Assistants (chemistry lab Assistant ) and of course babes of GHPS. Having said that, most of the beauties are married and have kids and they will defiantly call me Uncle.

P.S I think school days attraction is the most quintessential form of infatuation and can never be experienced afterwards.

Of late the concept of valentine day got introduced and every dumb ass tried his pot luck with it. Swami Sharukh BaBa, in DTPH (Dil To Pagal Hai) made the revelation that a girl can’t say NO on this particular day, irrespective of how ugly you look and the real time application was the PROPOSAL made by JUGNU to the Liliput girl (liliput version of Ashwariya Rai); and later they went to Hari and watched Ajnabee.

P.S many lovebirds made their debut with Ajnabee and extended with Jism; thanks to Bipasha.

The Hema Effect

Hema Sharam, the English Lecturer, if someone google’s her name, the result will be the syphilis kind of virus which she spread during her tenure and next will the GURSHISH KAUR as her reference link. She adopted her tone and mannerism to such an extent that even after this Virus evacuate GHPS her shades were there with gurshish & co.(she will kill me if at all she will get the opportunity).The truth is that Hema vandalized the conscious of her students and fabricated them as her followers (kind of Ram dev Baba) and finally turned them as so called CHAMCHAS.

P.S syphilis is used in the context of contagious virus; please don’t find its literal meaning as there were no orgies and Hema was wasn’t bisexual.

I think I wrote a lot, sane insane ….. I have no idea. Well in my next post I will upload some of the pics of GHPS

P.S it was rabbit who made me realized that how important is for anyone to have his own identity, one can’t survive much in the shades of his parents.

P.S.S Sonu and Ajith were the ones who made snoring stuff as the most interesting one and this is when I was dawn with the wisdom that in order to love your subject u need to first take interest in ur teacher or till u never appreciate your teacher u can never find subject interesting.

P.S.S.S my serious apology to all those who got hurt and esp. RDS, dude no hard feelings.

P.S.S.S.S politics is the execution of human physic to please the egocentric motives and earn some sadistic pleasure. Whether it was politics among children or it was at teacher’s level; excellence was reckoned on the basis rivalry, the better u were in politics more u got the dividends in terms of professional excellence. In short everything is relative; I guess that’s what Einstein said.

To be continued

Plight of Being Indian

Its not that i am North Indian; its because i am Indian

It’s commonly misunderstood that north Indians have to suffer in Mumbai or Chennai for their mannerism which sometimes is referred as cultural conflicts; this statement is as true as Indians are only greeted in Australia.

My journey commences from the crown of India, where one set of Indians (Natives of Kashmir) were dethroned by another set of Indians; fortunately or unfortunately I wasn’t among them although I witnessed that humiliation and love lost between two set of ideologies. Before readers will adjudge my religion, I assert that I am a Brahmin; just to make it clear that even Hindus are treated badly, so next time don’t credit any insult for being a minority or OBC; however I believe that the degree of insult and humiliation varies but still, I believe that one should not alibi his/her name by saying My Name is Khan!

I don’t think that every time I was at the receiving end but I can say that the racism and discrimination happened because neither do I belong to Sikh community nor did I have my roots in the Rajput clan. Although I thought that we all were humans, precisely Indians or derivatives of same religion but every time I was proved wrong. However, I can’t deny that I had Sikhs and Rajputs as my coterie.

From there I carried my journey for Punjab; during that, I found all the sign boards were in Gurmukhi script, completely a remote cousin of Devnagri. People were nice but the place had its own hidden protocols. The memories of Massacre that happened at Amritsar were still vivid and practically I could sense that since I was a Hindu, whatever happened can never be forgotten and hence someone has to pay the price; but with all due respect to all those who were sacrificed in the 1984’s Bloodshed; Sir, “I am a Hindu and I am not the one who did operation blue star”.

My next halt was at Delhi, an all together different experience. Although I don’t think it had any religious issues, however it had something else; Regional issues. If one has to survive then he has to adopt a typical Delhi attitude, sometimes referred as the North Indian Attitude and learn their slangs, irrespective of his will. It’s almost the same as inheriting a new set of mannerisms, following a new schedule and the most important; one has to read between the lines; sometimes small discussion can end up as a Homicide felony.

Later I went to UP, someone stared at me as if I was from Pakistan and then somebody spat near my foot. I looked at him and he was the Auto driver. Unfortunately, I indulged in some discussion which later turned into an undesired debate, my dialect was different and they decided that I was mudblood. Being fluent in Hindi is not sufficient to please the UP locals, so it all ended up in me saying sorry since my foot was at the wrong place and it interrupted the trajectory of the SPIT.

Then I entered Maharashtra, precisely Mumbai. It was not that rosy, I had to learn the mannerisms of local trains, but thanks to Delhi I was already well versed in learning new mannerisms and honestly being a Mumbaikar was far easier than being a Delhi wala. Later I attempted learning Marathi which was easier than learning Gurmikhi.

It’s always better to respect the locals and the local language, especially when you are a part of the migrated clan, which I learnt from my prior experiences of UP. Regarding the biasing part, I think the level of humiliation faced by native Kashmiris will always be much more mammoth than what the rest of the India can evince.

I don’t have any interest in writing about Chennai and Bangalore episodes because if N Indian has to suffer in northern India then what else he can expect from the rest of India. Whatever I went through had nothing to do me being a north Indian, the same could have happened had I belonged to southern, eastern or western India; it has to happen because our nationality is Indian.

P.S: Here the objective was to publicly scrutinise the issue of racial discrimination that happens across country.

Is unique Identification really required?

In the Devil’s Advocate,Karan Thapar charged Nandan Nilekhani by questioning him about the need of UID. Questions were tailored to emphasize how irrelevant UID program is.

It sounds so weird that why anybody wants justification for UID program isn’t this need of the hour. U.S had already implemented a Social Security Number; and in U.K there is National Insurance Number, so why such a question for India, typical of Indianism.

Well the answer is, it might be the most ambitious project for UPA or a prudent investment for future India, but, have they reckoned the measures before going for such a voluminous project?; I guess no.

UID, Unique Identification for every Indian, it sounds too techy but is it what can handle over 1 billion population, certainly, it’s not panacea and i agree that this is a kind of investment which will reap fruits at a later stage and at the same time will assist govt to focus where to invest. It will let them know about the exact numbers and its numbers which matters most. But the tricky part is; will it be effective?

In india we can’t just come up with some trendy idea, we need to consider various aspect like poverty, Politicians, Illegitimate goons ……etc and to a greater extent this exist for UID too. In one of the questions asked in Devil’s Advocate,” you are creating a system which in the wrong hands would be a powerful tool for either religious or caste profiling. How can you ensure that unscruplous politicians won't misuse it for their benefit and against your intentions and the best interest of the Indian people? “ , to this Nandan Nielkhani’s reply was that this system does not contain any such information, by simply excluding the SC, ST and OBC information, so that it should not act as a lethal tool, how UID is going to help in Demographic analysis.

In other Question where Karan Thapar gave his estimate of about 1.5 Lakh crore, as stated by London School of Economics for UID project in India for 700 millions people, M.r Nielkhani replied that however he does not know the exact cost but still his guess is that it should be 1/10 of what LSE has stated; an educated guess any nothing else. I was lurched to see that Mr Nielkhani is guessing; as if he is contesting for some game show, or he for him this amount is a peanut.

In the continuation, K T asked, “ What about the recurring cost” N N replied,” On the scale of money that we spend on public programs and the ability of the project to deliver better public programs it will be well worth it”, again a politically correct answer.

Throughout his interview, Nandan Nielkhani was found repeating his statement,” this is a legitimate Concern and we will try”. At none of the occasion I found him gritty or audacious; it was quite wary that is he the Chairman of this Project?; and finally he was swayed towards a typical corporate approach; he simply justified his point by pointing towards Govt. ,” The Government has come to the conclusion that this project is strategic and worth it. I have been invited to lead this project. I believe that it is viable and I will do my best to make it viable.”

Most of the question which were asked remained unanswered, If Nandan Nielkhani is not sure about the vulnerability of the system against hackers; reliability of the System, since none of the country has implemented for such a large scale and its effective usage for rural India then I guess its only god who knows, certainly god is not going come and brief us with UID.

We can never put sufficient checks and balances and neither we can guarantee its malicious use so is it advisable to have such system. As per LSE,” The success of a national identity system depends on a sensitive cautious and cooperative approach involving all key stakeholders, including an independent and rolling assessment and regular review of management practices," and the LSE has concluded that it did not exist in the UK. If it does not exist in the UK, that environment certainly doesn't exist in India?